so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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