at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
