I threw up into my coffee this morning.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
