Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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