New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
