If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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