Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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