Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize