The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
