idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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