i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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