someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
