Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
