I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
