Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
