Please, let me fuck your mom
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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