so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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