So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
