i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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