Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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