o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
