I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
