I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
