is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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