So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
