i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
