I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
