HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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