Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Tell her she can't have a vagina

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(817): View more from Texas

You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.

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(802): View more from Vermont

shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry

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(323): View more from California

Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.

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