summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize