I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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