Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
