Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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