The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
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I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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