Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
