this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
