woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
