so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
