if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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