WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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