The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
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