Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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