Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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