I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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