I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
