"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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