I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
