But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
