weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
