Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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