You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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