how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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