just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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