Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Randomize
