So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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