I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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