yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
