I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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