Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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